I'll start by explaining that, due to stupid telstra, we are changing internet and phone providers, so I'll be going off line for about 2 days, only to never (hopefully) be cut off from the internet again!!!
Also, after a long year of trying to convince myself that I did not want anymore children, it has come back to bite me in the butt! Yesterday, after congratulating one friend on the impending birth of baby number two, I found out yet another is also pregnant. I know 6 beautiful, mum-to-be's, and I cant shake the sadness that comes with my hubby's absolute ruling that another baby is NOT on the cards.
While I would agree that we have a gorgeous family already, the longing that resides in my heart for one more has not dissapated as I hoped it would. I spent most of last night trying hard not to be too upset, because I didnt want to guilt DH into making a decision I know he doesnt want to make, all the while feeling like I was missing out on something.
I am still rather teary eyed about it, and am asking God to help me, be my strength, and to hold onto the family I have! I dont know why I am so deeply saddened by it, knowing that DH wasnt interested in anymore kids... it seems to have hit me like a massive tonne of bricks.
So while I still hope that sometime in the not so distant future there is another bub in process for us in God's plan, I guess I'll have to "make do" with the blessings God has already brought forth from our love, and love them all the more! :)
xxoo
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