Still feeling a bit sad, had dinner with the family and babies is all they wanted to talk about (SIL is 10wks pregnant). I did suck it up and participate in the conversation, and hubby glanced my way more than a few times. It didnt hit until bed time, and I dreamed of the little blighters too! Anyone else feel like this sometimes? I wonder if I really have a "right" to feel sad about not having a 3rd bub, when some women who want kids cant have them naturally! I know that God has plans for everyone, and Im still believing in Him, but is this how women who cant have kids go through their lives... hoping, dreaming, wishing? If so, I really feel for those beautiful ladies! And am even more saddened by the thought that some of those women dont have a glorious God to lean on, find strength, have hope and to believe in...
A prayer from His Princess, Prayers to my King (Sheri Rose Shepherd)
My King, Heal my heart.
Lord, I need to feel Your healing touch. This is one of those times when I am paralyzed by heartache. I dont know how to deal with my pain and dissappointment; I dont know how I can be healed from my wounds. But I do know to turn to You.
Lord, Im desperate for You, so please help me rest in Your holy and healing presence. As I do, touch me with Your tender hand that brings a renewed spirit and wholeness. Give me the strength I need to cling to You when I feel like running away.
I know the enemy wants to defeat me, especially when I am down. So please help me to stay strong in my faith and trust that You can and will restore to me the joy of my salvation. Begin to heal me now and bring back my hope and peace of mind.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Love,
Your princess, who is longing to be whole
"He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds. How great is our Lord! His power is absolute! His understanding is beyond comprehension!"Psalm 147:3,5 (NLT)
That prayer is great Krystal! I needed it! If you wonder about your "right" to want more children, I am reminded about a command that God gave to the first humans - it was the first thing he told them to do before all else... Go forth and multiply! God knows your heart, and knows B's as well. He will do what He has planned and make it well with both your hearts - what ever that is.
ReplyDeleteI know, I am just trying to focus on Him... I love the little prayer book that I was given, its got a prayer for every occassion!!!!
ReplyDeleteGod says there are 7 things(or 3, I can't remember!? I think it's actually 3) that can't be satisfied...one of them being the barron womb. While that's not literally you, you're probably tasting that primal yearning and some of the grief that comes with it.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should feel guilty AT ALL about having that longing!! However I wouldn't share it with anyone fertilly challenged as having experienced some hardship in that area I can tell you right now you'd be likely to have your eyes scratched out! You're probably feeling somewhat like that yourself with preggers people around!
Thanks Anna, and I get that fertility-challenged thing... I do feel bad that some cant have what I already do have! I think I am doing much better as B and I talk more about it. Im not likely to scratch anyones eyes out tho, just get a lil misty eyed is all.
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